Monday, April 9, 2012

My Latin Obsession - by @MilfGod

           It's been a lil while, but you still the same ho you were when I left. You pregnant yet? No? We gon fix that.
Something close to mi corazon
           This for the fellas anyway. Something very close to my heart (dick): Latinas. From Brazilians to Mexicans. Panamanians to Cubans. Loud ass Puerto Ricans to crazy ass Domincans
I speak for all black dudes when I say we'd love to stick our reproductive organs in your small pink vaginas. The ones that taste like cafe con leche & guava pastries from Publix. Tongues that taste like a spice cabinet sponsored by GOYA. Hair that smells like flowers & salsa con queso.

            I don't want to sound like the ignorant chauvinist that I really am. But it's almost as if y'all were designed to get your vaginas thrashed. Y'all make loose pussy so desirable. I could care less if u were a whore in the favelas of Rio De Janeiro, someone I know will fuck you raw. Won't even blink either.

Puerto Ricans: Boricuas are my personal favorite. Y'all look like lil coqui frogs when y'all hit 30 but I still ya. Ever since my first PR Day parade & first time watching the 100% video by Pun, I wanted to eat arroz con pollo off your gorgeous faces. I grew up with y'all but I hadn't hit puberty yet. Forgive me for all the times I ignored you.

Dominicanas: I got mixed feelings about you hoes. I'm Haitian so y'all treat me like a slave but I still like to look at y'all. I used to go to Washington Heights all the time. I jackoff from my memories. Only shit yall piss me off with is when yall darker than me but swear up & down you ain't black. Stop it, Marisol. You a Shaniqua with an accent. That being said, that golden brown tint on your skin gets my Haitian sugar cane grow.

Fake tits or not, I'm eating a chalupa off them shits

Mexicanas: Y'all catch so much heat. Lemme throw my cape on real quick. Y'all got such beautiful skin. All yall gotta do is watch yall weight. Yall eat two tacos & gain 6 ounces off top. I hear the pussy is amazing either way. All fertile & whatnot. Yall cook the best among Latinas too (idc idc idc). As long as yall scream "Ay, papi!!" like the others, the pinatas in my scrotum are yours.

Brazilians, Colombians, Panamanians & Cubans got next. Dont get your spicy lil panties in a bunch.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Men CANNOT Be Hoes - by @MilfGod

           I've noticed a lot of confusion in regard to what makes someone a ho. However, one thing is for certain: only females can be considered one. I'm not trying bash women at all. I just want you to think about a few things using the concept dubbed "logic". 

       First, let's look at the history & etymology (SAT swag) of the words ho & hoes. Ho is originally derived from the word whore. A whore is someone that exchanges sexual favors for either money, food, hair weave or Louis purses (services not limited to those listed). Whores are nothing new. It's actually the oldest profession in the world. Some whores are self-employed, some are controlled by pimps, usually a man... sometimes a madam. (also an old profession. Hey, somebody gotta keep these hoes in line right?) So whether you're an escort, a skrippa or a "waitress" at a strip joint, you're a prostitute for profiting off of sex... thus making you a ho.

       Next thing we have to look at is what we define as a ho. Personally, I define a ho as someone that uses her body to get ahead or cannot control her sexual urges. However, a common misconception is that these are necessarily bad things. Socially they are, economically they aren't. Being a ho amongst social circles be it classmates, co-workers, clubs, or social networks (LMAO) can & will carry a negative connotation. Ho behavior is indicative of loose morals or no self-respect. Which is bullshit, because you could not be a ho, but still display these things. But I digress... 

I ain't even excited.
      On the almighty dollar side of things, hoes just feed off men's addiction of pussy. They can only ho as much as we let them, fellas. Tired of every chick being a ho? Well... stop enabling them How can you expect chicks not to see the glamour in being a ho when we got Basketball Baby Mommas & Ratchet Sluts Club on TV? Bitches in mansions with millionaire husbands #nshit. Being a ho is big business now. We gotta start making hoes feel slimy, vile & ashamed about this shit again. They just flaunting it out here with no consequnce, converting the few good girls we got left. Remember when Pamela Anderson was seen as a freak? A lot of the niggas reading this got daughters that'll put Pamela to shame. So stop trickin & ration the money at a reasonable rate so hoes don't take over the world. 

     So now that we have a good understanding of what a ho is & why they exist, we have to analyze why this is an estrogen-based affliction. It's very simple too: it's all perception. I never overhead a girl talk session at a slumber party so I don't know what girls talk about at their tribunals. However, I do know that if the group is small enough, they will reveal their most recent sexual exploits to either destroy/build up the rep of the male(s) involved. But if the group is too big, they most likely won't tell all that stuff to avoid everyone they know thinking they're hoes. Which is dumb anyway, because that small group is just as likely to tell your business, but we all know bitches are stupid. 

     So we can already see that females base their decisions off what other people might think (as much as they SWEAR they do not). This can only mean being a ho has nothing to do with the actions of a ho, but more so what other people may perceive as ho behavior. Hence the new millennium cliche "lady in the streets, but a slut in the bedroom". She will try her hardest to put up the front of not being a ho, but will not give a millimeter of fucks when behind closed doors or at least when she thinks nobody's watching. Nobody wants to be known as the village slut. The shame that comes with it is too much. 

    What women fail to realize is that MEN DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK IN TERMS OF PROMISCUITY! We don't care if someone calls us a ho if it means we getting pussy. Trust me, you're not hurting us. You're just making it look like you're keeping track of our dick. Men are all about conquering. Plus, you know the more pussy we get, the more status we got among our boys. We just tryna be Julius Caesars of the bedroom... or  staircase in the projects if you're anything like me. "You fuck anything that moves" Oh... well thanks for noticing bitch! I'm sposed to feel bad now? Obviously if chicks wanna fuck me, it means I got enough experience to knock the bottom out your shit. Bodies are like experience points on Pokemon. Just call my dick Squirtle, I'm tryna evolve into a Blastoise boo. So unless your pussy got a special potion to help me do that... STFU! Be honest ladies, how many of y'all tryna fuck a dude that claims to be a virgin? Be honest with yourself. You like male hoes, we like being hoes, so the negative connotation of being a "ho" has no effect on us. We are immune. 

    I wish I could nail this shit to the doors of the White House. It's that serious. Stop asking "how come girls can be hoes, but guys can't?". Because bitch, YOU make yourself a ho! Not us. You don't wanna be seen as a ho, we do. It's that simple. Haven't you bitches seen movies like "How To Be A Player" or "The Wood"? The nigga that gets the most pussy will always be THAT NIGGA. And because y'all are the hoes that y'all are, you always wanna fuck THAT NIGGA. Therefore, we will continue trying to become THAT NIGGA. THAT NIGGA getting all the pussy.


Saturday, March 3, 2012

The Common Misconception of Lil B - @dondonboi

Ight huddle up niggas huddle up, im here show u why Lil B is great and not who u probably think he is.
Most people think Lil B is the worst rapper alive but most times he is playing around fooling you.
Most songs he puts are just to gain an uproar from people and to promote his name and his "based" movement. Lil B can actually rap, it kind of unorthodox but his message is what matters when he is not doing that dumb shit...if u listen to Angels Exodus, and his I'm Gay (happy) album  u will really understand his real intent.

Before you insult me and say, why the fuck he listen to Lil B, ask yourself this u nimwit...Whats the difference between Big Sean, Lil Wayne's, Rick Ross, Nicki Minaj, Tyga etc and Lil B's nonsense music??? they're all trash, B is mockin that music cuz when he was coming out making his "real" music he had no buzz, but he has a buzz now huh? ...he might be the most controversial unsigned artist in hip hop in a long time.

If u want to know why i listen to Lil B, check out these lists of songs

theres much more but thats a start

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Start Thinking Like Women Again by @MilfGod

         Women's suffrage was the single worst thing to ever happen in Western civilization. And when I say Western, I really mean America. Women want to be us without REALLY being us. Kind of like how white people like to do things deemed "black" without having to actually be black. That's a stupid concept anyway, but we'll save that for another day. 

     A few months ago, I told someone I'd let my son stay out longer than I'd let my daughter stay out no matter their difference in age. "That's not fair" was her response. What the fuck does "fair" have to do with raising a family or life in general? Is that what the ERA was intended for? Being fair? That's stupid. I hate when idealist liberals act like we're all supposed to be equal (on this topic specifically) when the truth is we cannot be. 

   Why would I let my defenseless daughter (given she's not built like Jason Pierre-Paul) roam the streets at all times of night while I'm home worried sick as fuck? To seem "fair"? If I raised my son properly, he can defend himself/take an ass whooping and hop fences. I'm not raising my daughter like Colombiana so she can avoid a curfew. And I'll make sure her step mother understands that. 

    When a crisis occurs, who is it that they make sure is safe first? Women & children correct? So what does that mean? It means men are held responsible for the safety of the defenseless. Even if a woman is in the Marines & her husband is an interior decorator. If we're held responsible for something, it means we're given the last say on any decisions. Been done like that since the beginning of time. 

    Women voting changed all that shit. Why couldn't y'all just have maternity leave rights & be happy? Now politicians have to cater to y'all... emasculating their fellow man in the process. On some real Tyler Perry, Steve Harvey type shit. They should know that women don't even know wtf they want so there's no pleasing them. So women want to be protected, but want to be independent at the same time... WHOA NELLLYYYYYYY! It don't work like that. Protection implies I'm getting some sort of service in return. In this case, it would be obedience and subordination. (Making sense?)

    So you got your own job, car, crib & all that jazz. But why come is you going home to a vibrator instead of an equally accomplished #Him? "They're intimidated by us" is your usual response. Yeah that's true in some cases. OR perhaps, he expects a traditional family structure and knows he can't attain that with someone that could be deemed his equal. Human nature won't allow you to take orders from someone you feel you're equal to unless you're a pushover. 

   If I didn't notice dudes acting like females, it wouldn't be a problem. It's like we've been switching hormones the past 10 years. Women got more aggressive while dudes are more feminine. Single mothers "I don't need a man to raise my son" attitude got a lot of young men like that. I'm sure it ain't easy to find a dude that wants to help you raise another dude's kids. But they ARE out there. Internet here so you're not limited to your town. No excuses anymore. A man in a young boy's life is ESSENTIAL to his development. Don't even have to be your man. Just seek a male's help in helping you out a little bit. Put that "I can do bad all by myself" shit away for the sake of the children. 
All independent women end up like this at some point .

   All I'm asking is that y'all become women again. Be mothers, aunts, grandmothers, sisters. Stop trying to be daddy & uncle all at the same time. You gonna hurt yourself. I know y'all are emotionally vulnerable. Embrace your estrogen though. Stop trying to grow testes to mask your bitterness so men don't see you as a pushover. It's not working. You're still a woman and have to lay down to take dick at the end of the day. That won't change no matter how many degrees you have. Intelligence is attractive, but a woman acting like she should be treated like a man makes us feel kind of gay... So please chill. Take the back seat.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Reasons Women Are Not Smarter Than Men - @Dondonboi

Alright, listen up women, yall claim to be smarter than men and running around screaming how smart yall are but lets see if that is really true?

1. How come yall cant seem to realize a nigga just dont give a decimal of fucks about you?
I know a girl who has a "boyfriend" and i put that in quotes because she really has a master instead of a "boyfriend". This nigga has been caught red handed cheating but the nigga gets rewarded WITH MORE PUSSY FROM THE SAME GIRL.....Ok so if a nigga cheats that bitch gets momentarily mad but all he had to do is sweet talk and kiss her on the neck and the bitch is parking his penis in her pussy again. Girls will downgrade their morals just to feel 'loved' but yall smarter than us tho

2. Girls scream, and dont argue
Girls dont really argue, cuz an argument is when two people lay their ideas and try to find a solution. Bitches dont do that.....You ever give a bitch a logical answer and she just starts screaming random bullshit to distract ur brain from the real problems....JUST IGNORE THAT BULLSHIT CUZ SHE ISNT SAYING ANYTHING. MEN ARGUE WITH LOGIC, BITCHES JUST SCREAM AND THINK WITH THEIR FEELINGS. Any person who thinks with their heart is clearly a neanderthal of a human being, why do u possess a brain then??

3. Women love acting like they know everything
You ever catch a bitch thinkin she know sports, rap, sneakers, etc...She might start rambling that she knows rap music but when u start asking her questions about great rappers, she gives u songs that are only singles. How can you judge a rapper from just 'singles'....thats when i realize bitches do no research, they just watch TV and Radio. They love acting like they have no time to listen to albums and do research but have time to watch dumb ass reality shows that dumb down their brains.

in conclusion bitches arent really that smart, they are just great detectives and schemers, but they dont build, invent, create nothing that has made men and women progress as human beings.....give me one invention that a women created... (arguments, drama, babies dont count lmao).


Lil' Wayne And His Fans...Aliens? - @TweetsMeetEvil

Huddle up niggas, huddle up. By now I'm positive that all people with a working nervous system have stopped or limited their consumption of Lil' Wayne lyrics in the year 2012. However there are some people (aliens) who choose to be an insolent moron and listen to Young Tuna Salad religiously, and I am not okay with this one bit.

So I was in the car with my friend today and the fuck boy X 4 *Rick Ross voice* plugged his I-Pod in, and played Wayne's "Racks" freestyle and by the time I heard "Eat that pussy like cold pizza" I had enough and asked why are you making me suffer for?...I gave you your gas money. But Anyways, he then went on to say "Weezy the best rapper I don't care what you think", I then asked politely if he could Gucci Mane my ass the entire fuck outta the vehicle.

I went home and gave all of this some deep thought and asked myself a series of questions like shit...

A. Do Weezy fans hear what the rest of us are listening to?
B. Do they feel some type of guilt that he is garbage juice and are only pretending to like him?
C. Has he brainwashed them to the point where they can't let go?
D. Are They Aliens?
E. All Of The Above

Well, I thought about this really hard....and the only logical answer would be choice D, please lemme explain brah.

No human being born on planet Earth will find Lil' Tuna Casserole's music to be TOLERABLE....only an alien from outerspace can sit there and enjoy this shit like its all kosher and not be diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy b no fucking way. What made me realize that my theory is 100% right would be the discovery I stumbled upon in Wayne's music itself.

Wayne has said numerous times that "We are not the same I am Martian".....could this be the truth? Is he from another planet? Does he know Invader Zim personally?? who knows. But what put the icing on the cake was the fact he had and album in 2010 titled "I Am Not A Human Being." The proof is in the pudding right there booboo. Also, why was the album released digitally first? hmmm raises eyebrows indeed.

Can't tell if Wayne fans have either been already been aliens from birth or turned into one as they got deeper into his "music" but all I know is that they are not from this world...they are ALIENS, and have the brain capacity of monsters n beings in Chalkzone.

the bumass 2012 XXL Freshman list - @jesusxdon


Slaughterhouse - Hammer Dance

New Slaughterhouse with Mr. Fade In The Shade himself warning his twitter enemies & bullies that even though he may get smacked up by Wu-Tang & a couple exes, he does in fact keep the weapon on him. Okay...